Are You Getting Enough To Eat

             

            Memorial Day just ushered in the unofficial start to the summer.  To those who fell off the New Year’s Resolution Weight Loss Bandwagon, now is the time many people saddle back up for a fast and furious ride to get in shape before summer hits in all of her fury.

            A lifestyle change is always the best choice for proper weight loss, according to most medical professionals.  Still, depending on the latest diet craze, at least one person in everyone’s inner circle is cutting calories, cutting carbs, cutting fat, or cutting nutrition.  I recently talked with a friend who’s on a diet (prescribed her doctor) where her calorie restriction is 500 per day!

            But imagine, if you didn’t eat ANYTHING for an entire week?  Perhaps, just perhaps you could survive on water, but you would become weak.  Now, imagine going an entire month without eating.  NOTHING.  Not crackers, not lettuce.  NOTHING.  Goose Egg.

            I am not a doctor; however, I do think many people who completely cut out food for a month would suffer severe damage to their internal organs.  And unfortunately, some would not survive at all.

            The recommended daily consumption of calories is 2000 to 2500 depending on how active the individual is.  So not eating for an entire month is like having a deficiency of 60,000 calories.

            It is so important to fuel the body with proper nutrition but even junk food will keep it running, even if not at optimal performance.

            On any given day, most people eat each day.  Some eat more meals than others, but unless the baby was sick and the project was due, we make time to eat.  We feed our bodies.

            Yet.

            On any given day, many of us do not feed our minds or our spirits.  Weeks and months can pass by and some of us rarely deposit anything of substance to help us grow. 

            Just like the body would become frail, damaged, and close to death without food for weeks or months, our minds and our spirits function the same way.  Social media does provide some informative discourse and at times, inspirational passages.  But, it’s not a substitute for ongoing deliberate regimen of learning, meditation, and self refection.

            Developing a daily ritual of reading, journaling, quiet time, and focusing within is a necessary part of a balanced emotional diet.  And ongoing educational investments in our careers and businesses are vital for our work livelihood too.

            Got soul food?

Everybody Plays the Fool

            

          It’s an old school song title with a message to those who have loved and lost.  I even wrote a poem with the same title a several years ago.  It has become a cliché term of sorts.  And yet, no one wants to be the fool.

            April Fool’s Day brings out the jovial and lighthearted side of friends and co-workers.  When I worked in corporate America, I remember quite a few gut busting pranks that my co-workers managed to pull off on a few supervisors. 

            I even recall going out with a guy on a second date.  He introduced to me his ex-wife.  Talk about odd!  It was actually his sister and yes, and an April Fool’s joke.  We all laughed about it.  It was funny, after I found out his sister was not his ex.

            But, playing the fool is no fun the other 364 days of the year and yet, some of us, do it on a regular basis.  It’s the big river called, Denial, pun intended.  When we are in denial about what our lives are really like, we drown ourselves in self inflicted pain.  Now, I’m not talking about setting a goal, having a vision for your life and focusing on manifesting that goal before you attain it.  That’s totally different. 

            I’m talking about lying.  Most of us have been told at some point in our lives that “Honesty is the best policy.”  And while lying to someone else is certainly not a good thing, lying to ourselves is just as tragic.  When you pretend that all is well but every day is a struggle to keep up the front, you’re really just fooling yourself.

            Everybody does play the fool, sometimes.  How long are you willing to stay in that role?

Run Tell That

I am constantly amazed at the power of the Internet.  Exhibit #1: Antoine Dodson.  For those who are not familiar with the name, Dodson is funny guy with a larger than life personality who became an internet sensation in 2010.  He spoke to the media in a news clip about someone attempting to rape his sister.  That clip was later remixed with music and the video went viral.  The rest is internet history.

Since that time, Dodson was able to move his family from the neighborhood they lived in at the time of the attack.  He developed a following online.  He created a T-Shirt line, Halloween costumes and has been busy performing in shows around the country.   I caught up with Dodson and his manager in Los Angeles a couple of months ago in Los Angeles.

In the news clip, one of the warnings Dodson issued to the person who attacked his sister was, “Run tell that homeboy.”  It eventually became a slogan for him.  In fact a couple of years ago, I saw someone wearing a T-shirt with that phrase stitched across the front at a cookout.  It’s interesting that what could have been his “fifteen minutes of fame” has spread over a few years.

So here’s my question for you:  What are you running to tell?  Are you spreading news about your mission?  Or are you spreading gossip?  If you’re not spreading your mission, what’s stopping you?  If a young man who was living at home with his family in a public housing neighborhood can take a small opportunity and grow it into a life changing moment, why can’t you?

By the way, I released a new book, Rays of Motivation™ on March 7, 2013.  It’s available on Amazon at http://amzn.to/Z41urY.

Run Tell That.  And make it a great week!

Serving is an ideal way to receive

            I had an audition a few days ago that began, well, let’s just say a little hectic.  When I arrived, I ran into a couple of actresses I knew who kindly directed me to sign in with the casting assistant.  Then I learned that though I had a callback time, we were auditioning in the order on the sign in sheet.  And the staff was over an hour behind. 

            Thankfully, that is not norm.  Still on this night, I was not happy.  I had driven a few hours to get there, and I received the audition notice the same day.  The audition line was outside the building and it was not warm at all.

            I complained.  I was perturbed.  After a while, I decided to walk inside the lobby area to stay a little warmer.  I met another actor inside who had shown up because a friend of a friend of a friend knew the casting director.  But, he had no script.  He didn’t even know what the roles were.

            I pulled up the audition notice on my phone.  We looked at all of the characters for men together to see where he might fit. Since they were all the same age range, reading for any of the roles seemed like it would work for him.

            I stopped the next actor who came out of the audition.  I asked him if the other actor could use his script.  He handed it to him with no questions asked.  Now, my new actor friend could prepare for the audition.

            Because I had been standing close to the action of the auditions for a while, I had learned the casting assistant’s pattern.  I knew when she instructed the next person to enter, where they were supposed to stand and how to keep the rotation running.  With the lag time in the schedule, even she was frustrated and stepped away from time to time to take a call.

            To keep things moving, I stepped in and keep the actors moving through the audition.  Before long, the casting assistant gave me her coat to wear.  Then, without me asking, she sent me in early to audition, well before I was supposed to go by the sign up list. I even went before the actresses who told me to sign up when I arrived. 

            It was almost like a miracle.  Instead of focusing on the long line, the cold, the wait, I began focusing on others around me.  And like magic, I no longer had “problems” but opportunities to serve others.  That’s when my blessing came.

            I would like to say that I made the choice consciously.   I did not consciously choose to turn my focus away from what I perceived as a problem.  And honestly, I didn’t give to get either.  Perhaps it was an unconscious choice based on my own work with personal development. 

            Regardless of how it happened, as soon as I sat in my car, I knew that my shift in thinking about what was wrong and focusing on others totally changed my night. 

            But, I am not advocating putting yourself last and everyone else before you.  That’s the topic of another blog.  However, truly deciding not to focus on a situation as a problem can literally change your life.

            How can you serve today?

            

      

            There is nothing like an old fashioned scavenger hunt.  I remember a couple of years ago I was in San Jose, California working with a group of college students for the Monster Diversity Leadership Program and we participated in a scavenger hunt through the hills of UC-Berkeley’s campus.

            As a child, scavenger hunts were always exciting- especially the Easter Egg Hunt.  At my childhood church, we often had one white egg and that was the one that won the finder some cash!  Oh, how I use to search for that white egg.

            Fast forward a few years and I have learned that life is a scavenger hunt.  There a lots of things to search out and find… new restaurants, new careers, new places of worship, new hobbies, and even a new YOU.

            I have often heard the phrase, “Success Leaves Clues.”  I am not sure who originally said it as some sources attribute it to Jim Rohn and others Tony Robbins.  Regardless of the originator, the phrase is a very powerful statement on how to advance our lives in many areas.

            For example, if you want to establish a successful restaurant, it makes sense to find a successful restaurant and model their steps- not steal their ideas or their unique brand.  (That’s the topic of a whole different blog!)

            To build a successful business, no matter the industry, watching, learning, modeling, and synthesizing strategies and approaches so that they work for YOU is key.

            This also applies to any area of your life.

            If success truly does leave clues, what have you found?  What are you overlooking?  And are you even in the game?  How many pieces of the puzzle will it take to build your version of success for you?

            Got clues?

           

What's in a Name

       

     Words are powerful.  So are names.  That power though can have negative or powerful energy attached to it.

            Take for example, calling someone a genius.  Whether or not that person would officially classify as a genius, the energy associated with that name is usually positive.  However, calling someone a monster probably will not be received with the same positive energy.

            Whether in the work environment, the community, or a school setting, words can change the course of a day, and in some cases, the course of someone’s life.

            Today is World Day of Bullying Prevention.  Observed the first Monday in October, adults and children are encouraged to wear blue to show their solidarity with the organization, “STOMP out Bullying.”

            Bullying has become a hot button topic lately, especially now that the practice has spread online, and cyberbullying has become a big issue.

            It’s unfortunate and sad that students are singled out because of the way the dress, their race, their religious affiliation, or any differences that may make them easy targets.

            Last Friday in Michigan, a 16 year old girl, Whitney Kropp, rose above what seemed to be a high school prank.  Kropp had been picked on in the past, and some students suggested her nomination to be on the homecoming court was just a joke.

            Kropp, who gained national attention, received huge support from the community, with businesses donating everything from her hair style to the dress she wore for the homecoming game.  Even students from the opposing school wore Kropp’s favorite color, orange, to show their support.

            Most stories do not end like this though.  Students who are bullied often times suffer long term effects.  And of course, adults are victims of bullying too.

            But.

            What about the bullies?  Who are they?  And what are their needs? 

            To the parent of a bullying victim, these may seem like unfair questions that make the bully seem like a victim.  Well, let’s follow that trail for a moment.

            Child expert Michelle Borba contends that some of the reasons children bully may include, they may have received too rigid or harsh discipline and “conditional love; they may be former victims of bullying needing protection; they may use the aggression to seek attention or power, or they may be allowed to get away with aggressive behavior at home, just to name a few.

            So while bullies should be disciplined properly, held accountable for their actions, and educated on the proper way to handle challenges, perhaps true prevention starts with love.  Oversimplifying?  Well, the Beatles did contend, “All You Need is Love.”  However, let’s go back to Borba’s reasons for bullying.

            In each of the reasons outlined above, I think unconditional love from parents, guardians, and the community is a part of an effective prevention strategy.  Discipline is a form of love and the proper discipline for a bully is a necessary teaching tool.  Still, before there is ever a need for discipline and before there is ever an issue; could unconditional love and proper attention be part of the key to prevention? 

            Have adults become too busy and successful to show children love?  Are adults giving love through gifts, trips, and loose rules? 

            Have teachers been taxed with too many students, too much work, and too many rules to the point where it’s very challenging to give students the kind of attention they need and deserve?

            What about the word, bully?  Not the warmest label in the world and I am sure there are those who may contend that people just need to call a spade a spade.  Still, for the child who is already insecure, and is only trying to protect himself, how does this word make him or her feel?

            For parents whose children have been beaten, physically abused, or from their perspective, scarred for life, these questions may stir up anger and resentment.  It’s an understandable reaction and my heart goes out to you.

            There is room for discussion and a lot of room for improvement.  Does prevention start at home or at school?  Should parents be held accountable for their children who bully?  What support programs could help students who are bullying victims?

If all we need is love, what are you doing today and everyday to make the world free from bullies?

Hidden in Plain Sight (Do you see the man?)

   

          A few weeks ago, I was on my way back to a hotel from a speaking engagement and preparing to head to the airport.  I had a package with me that I needed to drop off at Fed-Ex, label already attached.

            As I drove into the parking lot, I noticed there was a big Fed-Ex truck near the entrance, where I wanted to park.  I was concerned it might be too close to my parking spot, but nonetheless, I really wanted to a park near the door since I was about to check out of my room.

            I sat in the car for a moment, thinking about everything I needed to do before going back to the airport, find a Fed-Ex drop box, pack, check out, and gas up the rental.  Since I have a Places feature on my phone, I hoped it would easy to find a Fed-Ex location.  But I was in a rural area, and I started to get a little concerned.  I got out of the car and realized, as you may have already, there was a Fed-Ex truck less than 10 feet away!

            It reminded me of a chapter in Geneen Roth’s book, Women, Food and God when she discusses things being “hidden in plain sight.”  I have often heard it said that the things we are looking for are many times right in front of our eyes.  Yet, in the day to day hustle and bustle of life, we sometimes miss it altogether.

            If a shortage of money is a problem for you, yet you have an undeniable talent to ______ (fill in the blanks on that thing that everybody says you do so well) then the source to end your money shortage is your talent.  NO EXCUSES about I do not know how (there’s a thing called the internet with ABUNDANT RESOURSES)

            If you have always wanted to do ________________(fill in the blanks on that thing that you keep talking everyone’s head off about doing) then you are the reason you have not done it. (ouch- I know…. Hard pill to swallow)  But, as my friend, author Mark Wiggins often says, you have to “give yourself permission to succeed.”

            The objects of your desires are often right in front of your eyes.  Are you ready to get in the starting line-up of life or you okay sitting on the bench?